Two Different Kinds of People

Am I consider a chinese? A chinese should know how to speak mandarin, cantonese and etc but I can only speak english well. Why? I was raised up in an english family background and I was not taught to speak or read chinese since I'm young. Before I enter college I was not really bothered not knowing how to speak chinese because I'm used to speak cantonese or english back in my hometown so i had not much trouble communicating with my friends as well as my relatives. Ever since I've been put into my college, I start to realize everyone around me speak chinese and most of them are chinese educated background so in order to mix with everyone I had to learn chinese and most of them speaks to me in my usual language which is cantonese and english and I feel they had tried their best to communicate with me. Recently, we had just arrived in Langkawi for industrial training in Meritus Pelangi Spa & Beach Resort. We really had fun time together so far but these few days I've been really down. It has been my own problem and not my friends. I felt language is the barrier between us. Most of them speak chinese among themselves and I had not been able to join their conversation because I felt they're not even talking to me so I shouldn't talk too much. These has been continuosly happen for the past two days. During the daytime I will be in jovial mood and I do talk to them but comes to night time my mood swings. So, I do not know whether I'm faking myself in front of them or what. I've been trying to avoid confronting them but it seems to be unavoidable. For example, we had dinner together just now so we sat together and they talk chinese and again I kept quiet until we all finish eating and in order not to confront them I decided to storm out of the cafeteria and walk back myself to hostel. They planned to go to the beach earlier before and i said okay to one of my friend but after that i decline to go the beach because I am afraid I will be speechless. They know I'm a talkative person and when I don't talk they know I'm emo. The only person who know I'm having these problem is two of my sis Amila and Mei Chee. There is one more person I really miss and wanted to talk to her so badly which is my dearie sis Nikhita but she's not in malaysia at the moment. She went to US for her bro's wedding. How I wish she's back already.